I had perhaps the most ignorant conversation ever with my husband today. He was talking about some friends online who were bitching about Brokeback Mountain and I said I didn't understand why people were so huffy about this movie. Personally, I don't want to see it... but that's because cowboys bore me and I don't wanna see ANYBODY making out. Not two guys. Not two girls. Not a guy and a girl. Not even a midget/weasel/albino iguana threesome.
Okay... maybe that last one.
The conversation finally rolled around to me asking, "But why does it matter?" If I remember correctly, the specific question was, "Why does it matter if there's a movie about gay cowboys and it wins awards?" His response... "The awards are Hollywood's gold star endorsement of it."
Why does it matter?
"The director will be more in demand after winning these awards, and he might make another gay cowboy movie... or gay something else."
Why does it matter? Why does it matter if he makes 20 gay movies a year? I doubt good, upstanding, honest, churchgoing, family-raising men are going to see the movie and say, "I've found my calling! I'm running off to be a gay cowboy!"
"Probably not... but if they're family-raising men, their sons might. Or, worse, they might do it because they think it's 'cool'."
Then they won't be taken seriously... and it won't last long. Why does it matter?
This finally got around to him saying, "...and God still says it's wrong..."
I asked him if he believed us eating pork last week was wrong. He said no.
"So you're picking and choosing which scriptures you agree with... God says don't be gay, so that's wrong... God says don't eat pork, but you think that's okay."
I also asked him why God would keep making gay people if He thought it was so wrong... he never really had an answer for that. Finally, I asked him what was wrong with being gay. His response...
"Nothing... just KEEP YOUR DICK AWAY FROM MY ASSHOLE!"
I pointed out that it makes no sense to base on argument on the supposition that being gay is "wrong" somehow if you also say that there's nothing wrong with being gay. And I told him that if it doesn't kill you, prohibit you from paying your bills, starve you, or raise my already high blood pressure (by the way... I was turned down from giving blood last night because my BP was 158/126) then it DOESN'T matter.
Frankly, the entire conversation bothered me. He's married to a bisexual woman. He's been good friends with a gay man and a bisexual man for many years. And I thought he'd left all that "conditioning" that religion puts you through far behind. Usually, he has the good sense to say something intelligent or keep his mouth shut. But his arguments on this were ignorant and religiously dogmatic. The conversation never really had any resolution... it just fizzled out. But I made the last point, and I think the fact that he had no response for it might indicate I made him stop and really think about what he was saying.
To my gay, lesbian, bisexual, and whatever else friends... I love you all, just as you are. I love you because you are who you are. If you're free enough to say to the world, "This is me... accept it or fuck off!" then I love you for having that freedom inside yourself. If you're still hiding part of who you are from somebody, I understand, and I love you... you who probably need that love and acceptance most. You aren't hurting anyone by just being yourself... so don't mind the folks who have to get their panties in a wad every time the wind blows in a direction they don't like. Don't try to be anything you're not... because YOU are the person I love.